Stop Apologizing, Girl!

Let me ask you something, and I want you to be honest.


Do you apologize often?


If the waiter at a restaurant gets your order wrong, do you say, "Sorry, I actually ordered medium-rare"?


If you're in a store and need another size of a shirt, do you preface the request with a "sorry" to the salesperson?


How many times a day do you apologize?


I challenge you to pay attention to how often you apologize. Then consider why you do it.




We've Got Nothing to Be Sorry About

I'm not sure when I realized I apologized too much. I probably read a book about how often women apologize. Once I became aware of my own apologies, I worked to curb them.


Now I notice everyone else's.


A few years ago, I had a young woman cleaning my home. It seemed like every other word out of her mouth was "sorry." Even when I walked in the house and startled her, she apologized.


I was on a plane yesterday and heard no fewer than three females apologize. I heard no men.


So why do women apologize more than men?


There's no exact reason, but I suspect it's because we historically have had to make ourselves small. Not take up too much space or attention. When we bother others, whether that's by bumping into them or asking for the salt in a restaurant, we don't want them to be annoyed with us. Thus the apology.


But is it really an inconvenience to ask for something in a restaurant? Isn't it the waiter's job to get it for you? A simple thank you should suffice.


The Divine Female Knows When to Apologize

We're all still on the path of discovering our divinity, and that means we sometimes do things like over-apologize.


And yes, there is a time and place for an apology. If you hurt someone's feelings, say you're sorry. If you've been insensitive, do it. Find the line between an apology being appropriate and it erasing you from existence.


We as divine women need to own our space. Stand tall. Be present. We do not need to apologize for a request or for our existence.


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