Manifesting Requires Trust, Not Control

I was listening to one of Oprah's Super Soul podcasts this morning (I highly recommend them!) and caught a guest speaker talking about the connection--or rather, disconnection--between trust and control.


What I took away from what he said was that you try to control things when you don't have trust. And when you trust, you don't need to control.


I've got my own control issues, so I'm going deeper on what this means in my own life, but I also see it relevant to our ongoing conversation about manifesting.


State Your Intention, Then Let Go of the Details


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If you're like most newbie manifestors, you put your intention to the Universe something like this:


I want to attract a man who lives within 20 minutes of me, has a good job, and will love me...in the next month. He'll have dark hair, be taller than me by a foot, and love to give massages. We'll meet through mutual friends at a party.


Yes, I'm being a bit facetious, but not by much. So often, we don't trust the Universe to get our order right, so we give the equivalent of Sally's order for pie in When Harry Met Sally:


"But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing."


The Universe has been around a lot longer than you. It knows what you want. It isn't going to send you a man who doesn't match up to what you really want inside. But he may not be taller than you. He may live an hour away. He may be bald. But if he loves you like you want, who really cares about the rest?


My best friend fell in love with a Jewish man with a penchant for making ice cream. Not what was on her radar, but he's absolutely been the best thing to happen to her. So much for making a list.


This is where you really have to learn to let go and trust. It's hard for me, so don't get upset if you aren't there right now. I invite you to think of all the ways the Universe has already delivered what you wanted and needed in your life, even if it didn't look like what you expected.


Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

Again, the Universe is pretty smart. Trust that when you put your intention out to the Universe, it will get the message. Focus on boiling down your intention to just what you want.


Rather than detailing what kind of cologne you want your future love to wear, focus on the qualities you want him to have:


  • Kind to others

  • A supportive and loving partner

  • Holds family values high

The packaging really doesn't matter if you can check these off your list, right?


Create a Trust Mantra

If you struggle to let go of that desire to control how you manifest, let's work on increasing the trust factor.


Consider creating a mantra that helps build trust in the Universe to deliver what you seek. Something like this:


I trust the Universe to deliver what I want and need.


Repeat this to you as often as it takes to start shifting your mindset away from one of wanting control to one of trust.


After all, when you open up to trusting the Universe to doing what it's designed to do, that's when the real magic happens!


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